Prince Harry Admits He 'Hated' Himself For How He Dealt With Meghan Markle's Suicidal Thoughts

Prince Harry recalled when Meghan Markle wanted to take her own life, and he admitted he wasn't the husband she needed during that time.

"I was devastated, I knew she was struggling — we both were struggling. I didn’t think it would get to that stage, but then it got to the stage, I felt angry and ashamed. I didn’t deal with it well. I dealt with as institutional Harry, not husband Harry, and what took over my feelings was my royal role. I had been trained to worry more about what people are going to think if we don’t go to this event, we’re going to be late. Looking back now, I hate myself for that. What she needed from me was so much more than I was able to give," he said in episode 4 of Harry & Meghan, which dropped on Netflix on Thursday, December 15.

The former actress' mother, Doria Ragland, also weighed in on her daughter's revelation. "I remember she told me she wanted to take her own life and that really broke my heart. I knew it was bad, but to just constantly picked at by these vultures, just picking away at her spirit, that she would actually think of not wanting to be here – that is not an easy one for a mom to hear. And I can’t protect her. H can’t protect her," she noted.

Meanwhile, Meghan, who previously shared some of the details with Oprah Winfrey during their March 2021 interview, said she "wanted to go somewhere to get help," but she wasn't allowed.

"They were concerned about how that would look for the institution," she said.

"They knew how bad it was. They thought, ‘Well, why can’t she deal with it?’ Everyone has dealt with it, why can’t she? But this was different, really different. If you strip all of that away and say, 'OK fine, it was exactly the same, do we still believe she should have sucked it up like all other members of the family or it’s about time we stop?' But no one would have private conservations with the editors saying enough. My dad said to me, ‘You can’t take on the media. The media will always be the media.’ I said, 'I disagree. I have 30 years of experience of looking behind the curtain of how this system runs – constants briefings about other members of the family, about favors inviting the press in,'" Harry said of trying to get the tabloids to cover everything Meghan did.

"It’s a dirty game. There’s leaking, but there’s also planting of stories, so the Comm teams want to be able to remove a negative story about their principal, they will trade and give you something else about their principal, so the offices work against each other. It’s this weird understanding or acceptance that happens. You can always say, ‘I don’t know about this.’ No, but what I am asking is ‘Have you done anything to stop it?’ And the answer is no. William and I both saw what happened in our dad's office. We made an agreement that would never happen in our dad's office," he continued.